A Little Laugh For Your Day

PEARLY GATES

A man appeared before St. Peter at the pearly gates. "Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip to the Black Hills out in South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily tattooed biker and smacked him on the head, kicked his bike over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground." Then I yelled, "Now, back off or you'll answer to me!"

St. Peter was impressed: "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple minutes ago"


THE REDHEAD

A gorgeous young redhead went into a doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.

"Impossible!" the doctor said. "Show me."

The redhead took her finger, pushed on her hip and screamed. Then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.

The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?

"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."

"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."